"You're Traveling ALONE?!"

The NUMBER ONE question I am asked when someone discovers that I am going traveling is...

"Are you going with someone, or are you traveling alone?!".

The general population worries that I will be robbed/murdered/raped/trafficked Taken-style when I leave home. Especially as my destinations include developing countries.
It is also a common assumption that solo travelers are friendless wanderers who spend their time in silent contemplation, wishing they had brought a companion to speak with.
This is in fact, not the case. Generally speaking.

I am a woman. I am single. I am an introvert.

I travel solo...and I like it!

I am not superwoman. I am not especially streetwise. I am not particularly out-going.
And I am not going to let fear hold me back!

When I was 19, I packed up and moved to a different country where I knew no one, and I lived there for nearly a year. This came out of the blue in some respects. I was considered "quiet" and some might consider me shy. I had never lived on my own before. I was a homebody. I was not the girl to do the unexpected thing.

But I was driven by a long-standing and passionate desire to see Ireland. An opportunity came up, and I seized it!

I don't remember exactly what I was thinking at that point. The decision surprised even me! I was nervous, but I was excited for the adventure.

By the end of that year I had seen a lot of the area surrounding my home base, and I loved it. The people, the natural beauty, the SHEEP! It was amazing. It was a great exercise in independence, but the fact is that I was probably too immature at that point to undertake such an extreme transplanting and thrive. In some ways my confidence in myself was rattled.
Luckily one of my good friends flew in and we traveled around Ireland together for a month...I'm not sure I would have pushed myself to do that trip if I had been on my own.

To further instill a dread of solo traveling, I did a 10-day guided tour of Scotland, at which I was the only person that came without a friend (or two)! I was also the youngest by a number of years, and I felt a little lost and intimidated.

After that, I told myself that I "couldn't" travel on my own. It wasn't for me.

I wasn't brave enough. I wasn't smart enough.
It was too dangerous. It was too hard. It was too lonely.

For years I wanted to travel SO badly...but I didn't, because I had no one to travel with. My friends were in university, getting married, or in jobs where they couldn't get the time off. I sat around waiting...and waiting...

It took a long time for me to decide to take the plunge and go to South America alone last year, The soundtrack of fears and doubts played in my head over and over. I hated it. And eventually I became driven to prove it wrong. There was no one to go with me? Screw that! I was going alone!

I began reading up on women traveling alone through South America. As it turns out, there are a lot of women traveling alone all over the world! And they are safe! And they love it!

And after nearly 4 months of solo travel through South America, I can now say I have officially joined their number!

So, let's address these doubts, shall we?

The first one...is self-defined. You are as brave as you decide to be. Its up to you whether to let your fears hold you back or not.

The second...well, all I can say, is that if I can make it to South America and back in one piece without meeting a sticky end, pretty much anyone can. That is all. No, but actually, if you are capable of reading a travel guide, then yes, you are smart enough, and smarter than a lot of the other travelers you will meet.

On to other 3 points!

Is it too dangerous?
No! It certainly can be dangerous, but it doesn't have to be dangerous. I learned self-sufficiency, and I learned to be careful, and how to take precautions. But I also learned a lot about the kindness of strangers. There are many, many good people out there. I made mistakes, and time after time there would be wonderful, friendly local people there to help me out. As a woman you may be more vulnerable in some ways, but this also means that others are watching your back for you too.

I was taking the city bus once in a small town in Colombia, looking for a grocery store. I eavesdropped on a local couple with a little girl sitting behind me, and once I was reasonably sure they were nice, normal people, I turned around an asked them if they could recommend a stop for me to get off at that had a grocery store. They promptly took me under their wing, got off with me, showed me where to go, which bus to take to get back to my hostel, and where to catch it.
This was not the only time I was blown away by the simple kindness of strangers. Remember that the average person is not out to get you. Be safe, but don't close yourself off from the world.

Is it too hard?
No! There are many different ways to travel solo, depending on how much time and money you have, as well how much flexibility and independence you want.
I personally have enjoyed volunteering for a while in different countries. This gives me a home base where I can acclimatize to a new culture, learn a little bit about the way people live, meet new friends, give back to a community, and ask people to refer me on what to see and where to go afterwards. Then I can make a plan, set my own pace, and figure it out as I go! The buses, hostels, and tours can be booked along the way.
Others enjoy guided tours with a set itinerary and someone else to worry about the logistics! You just have to show up and meet your fellow adventurers! There are a lot of companies that provide this kind of service, and its a great way to get your feet wet in solo travel. You have a support system to help you with any problems that arise, and you won't have to worry about where to sleep/eat/meet people.

Is it too lonely?
No! If anything, I meet more people when I'm traveling alone! As a decided introvert, sometimes it does take a little extra effort to strike up conversations or tag along on a group activity, such as a hostel pub crawl. However, when you travel alone, you also get to make your own rules about how social you want to be! If you don't want to go out every night, you don't have to! You will not have to figure this out with a travel buddy, and you won't be letting anyone down when you do things your way! On the flip side, if you want to go out with total strangers to swap travel tips and stories, join up with others to go on a daytrip on a whim, or buddy up for a few weeks- you totally can! You are free to meet, talk, hangout, drink, dance, travel, eat, etc. with whomever floats you boat! And you can leave whenever you want, or not! Its totally up to you (and the other person/people you meet...haha).
There are never any shortage of other travelers to be found at hostels, or on tours, or sightseeing. And guess what- many of them are other women traveling alone!
I made some great friends by simply putting myself out there, saying hello, asking where someone is from or where they're going, and just hanging out together.
I made a friend with a girl stuck in front of me in a long line at the airport. I made a friend sitting next to me on the plane. I made a friend swinging in a neighboring hammock. I made a friend when I heard a girl mention she wanted to go to a local market, and I offered to show her the way. I made a friend commenting on their accent (strange but true). I made a friend couchsurfing.
You get my point-- you have literally endless possibilities to make friends when you travel!

Don't get me wrong. Traveling with friends and family is SO much fun, and it is wonderful to be able to share those experiences and memories with someone close to you. But if you, like my past self, put off traveling because you don't have a friend to go with you, I think you might be making a big mistake. Don't wait for an opportunity that is dependent on someone who may or may not appear. Just do it!

Traveling solo can be scary, especially the first time. Its natural to be scared of the unknown. But I think that if you go for it, you will surprise yourself with just how much you enjoy it! It can definitely be safe, simple, and social!

Here's a handy-dandy link to some quick tips for solo female travelers- good to keep in mind!

Edit: And another link that will shoot down any other excuses :-P